So, our second round of Clomid with an HCG trigger shot did not work, either.
But I knew it wouldn't.
A day before starting the rounds, the Lord spoke to me in the stillness of my heart:
"The medication is not going to work because that is not your problem."
He then went on to enlighten me on the issue. I took the medication anyway, 'just in case' I hadn't heard from the Lord. The medicine made me feel terrible, just like last time and it yielded no fruit. At least I was mercifully forewarned and so when Auntie Flo showed up I was not devastated like last month. It is still disappointing, however.
This week, I served once again at the Women's Social Work Site in El Callejón. I love this little community. I fell in love with it when I was on a 2 week outreach back in 2006 and God has continually allowed me to work, plant seeds and love the people in this community every time I am back here.
On Thursdays, the site leader, Daisy, leads a young mother's group in the mornings. This means that LOTS of kids and babies show up. We had a group of 3 high school girls with us and so we, with our intern, Anna, stayed outside with the kiddos so that the women could focus on the Bible Study and activity Daisy had prepared. Anna and I focused our attention on a 1 year old named Samantha. Like many of the children in El Callejón, Samantha's mom is around, but isn't always attentive to her. I most often see this little baby in the arms of her 9 year old cousin, Rosalyn. In fact, Samantha's mom hadn't even shown up to group-- Rosalyn brought her. Samantha, like many of the babies here, doesn't smile much and doesn't warm up to new people easily. I was actually pleasantly surprised when she allowed Anna and I to entertain her with a few colorful blocks and a toy dinosaur. After about a half hour, Samantha looked at me, crawled over and started trying to climb into my lap. I thought she wanted to maybe stand up and walk around a bit, but when I went to lift her, she quickly plunked her head against my chest and nestled in for a little nap. Heart...melting...now.
I rocked her and sang to her and watched her heavy eyelids open and close over and over, not sure if she felt completely safe to let go in this 'stranger's' arms. My thoughts went toward the stories in the gospels when Jesus tells his disciples that He wants to bless the children people kept bringing to Him. He even told them not to hinder children coming to Him because the Kingdom of Heaven was made up of children like the ones they were trying to push away. I felt such intense love for this little baby and I knew it was the absolute love and joy of the Father for her. God loves his creation, but mostly He loves humans, who He made in His own image. I was filled with such gratitude, that at that moment, my empty arms were available and were filled. For those 40 minutes she stayed in my arms, I was a momma-- a safe place full of the love and peace of Jesus. When I'm in El Callejón, my arms are often filled; filled with hugs from little girls, with scissors and glue that I'm carrying to help the older ones finish their projects, with babies and brooms and Bibles. My barrenness, at this time, allows Jesus to reach many.
“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord."
Well said, Isaiah, well said.
Yes, we are still praying for children and yes, we are trying to remedy our problem, but in the meantime, we are seeking first His Kingdom and letting Him do the rest.
But I knew it wouldn't.
A day before starting the rounds, the Lord spoke to me in the stillness of my heart:
"The medication is not going to work because that is not your problem."
He then went on to enlighten me on the issue. I took the medication anyway, 'just in case' I hadn't heard from the Lord. The medicine made me feel terrible, just like last time and it yielded no fruit. At least I was mercifully forewarned and so when Auntie Flo showed up I was not devastated like last month. It is still disappointing, however.
This week, I served once again at the Women's Social Work Site in El Callejón. I love this little community. I fell in love with it when I was on a 2 week outreach back in 2006 and God has continually allowed me to work, plant seeds and love the people in this community every time I am back here.
On Thursdays, the site leader, Daisy, leads a young mother's group in the mornings. This means that LOTS of kids and babies show up. We had a group of 3 high school girls with us and so we, with our intern, Anna, stayed outside with the kiddos so that the women could focus on the Bible Study and activity Daisy had prepared. Anna and I focused our attention on a 1 year old named Samantha. Like many of the children in El Callejón, Samantha's mom is around, but isn't always attentive to her. I most often see this little baby in the arms of her 9 year old cousin, Rosalyn. In fact, Samantha's mom hadn't even shown up to group-- Rosalyn brought her. Samantha, like many of the babies here, doesn't smile much and doesn't warm up to new people easily. I was actually pleasantly surprised when she allowed Anna and I to entertain her with a few colorful blocks and a toy dinosaur. After about a half hour, Samantha looked at me, crawled over and started trying to climb into my lap. I thought she wanted to maybe stand up and walk around a bit, but when I went to lift her, she quickly plunked her head against my chest and nestled in for a little nap. Heart...melting...now.
I rocked her and sang to her and watched her heavy eyelids open and close over and over, not sure if she felt completely safe to let go in this 'stranger's' arms. My thoughts went toward the stories in the gospels when Jesus tells his disciples that He wants to bless the children people kept bringing to Him. He even told them not to hinder children coming to Him because the Kingdom of Heaven was made up of children like the ones they were trying to push away. I felt such intense love for this little baby and I knew it was the absolute love and joy of the Father for her. God loves his creation, but mostly He loves humans, who He made in His own image. I was filled with such gratitude, that at that moment, my empty arms were available and were filled. For those 40 minutes she stayed in my arms, I was a momma-- a safe place full of the love and peace of Jesus. When I'm in El Callejón, my arms are often filled; filled with hugs from little girls, with scissors and glue that I'm carrying to help the older ones finish their projects, with babies and brooms and Bibles. My barrenness, at this time, allows Jesus to reach many.
“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord."
Well said, Isaiah, well said.
Yes, we are still praying for children and yes, we are trying to remedy our problem, but in the meantime, we are seeking first His Kingdom and letting Him do the rest.
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